The Institute of Civil Funerals Conference 2012

The 2012 IoCF Conference was held at the NASUWT Centre at Hillscourt, just outside Birmingham.

A meal, a social gathering and a quiz got the event off to a great start. Celebrants surprised themselves with how much they didn't know! The Chairman is much too modest to reveal the winners, but ...! Next morning it was down to business. Chairman Peter McNulty read a message from Patron Professor Malcolm Johnson in which he reaffirmed his commitment to the Institute and the high standards of quality it both demanded and maintained. Feedback from families was an essential part of the process.

The conference then welcomed the keynote speaker, Rev. Paul Sinclair. Paul wasn't there on this occasion to talk about his renowned motorcycle hearses and in an animated and passionate speech, he underlined the fact that a funeral is not about 'it' in the sense of getting 'it' right but it always about 'them' and reflects what 'they' - the family - want to do things. Paul suggested that rather than being called 'funeral directing' it should be called 'people directing', providing the whole package in the exact way the family wanted. He encouraged celebrants to make sure a true picture of the deceased was portrayed. Only by talking to as many people as possible would celebrants avoid depicting the deceased as a saint when he or she clearly was not.

The next speaker was Andrew Hickson of Kingfisher Funerals in St. Neots. Andrew led the members through the process which led him to provide a funeral directing business with a difference. He was happy to let families organise their own ceremony. If such ceremonies lacked panache, what did it matter as long as families got what they wanted. Andrew reflected on a value he felt he shared with the IoCF - 'We won't impose our values on you.' As good and as thought provoking a speaker as he was, Andrew was promptly upstaged by his own 'visual aid' - Roxie, his black Labrador bereavement dog! Andrew described the comfort that many families gained from being with Roxie when they were at a low ebb.

Next up, promising as always 'not to be controversial' was Charles Cowling of the Good Funeral Guide. He continued with the theme that had emerged throughout the morning - putting the people first at funerals, and that meant funeral directors, crematorium staff and celebrants working together to achieve those aims. Charles pointed out that people were beginning to think a lot about the value for money they were getting. It they were properly involved in the planning and execution of the funeral, they would be more than aware of the value they were getting. If families were pleased with the experience, they would happily pay the price. Unable to resist the temptation to be at least thought provoking, Charles threw out one or two nuggets for digestion! Should funerals be moving to a 'New Age' informality? Was there a need for a 'secular liturgy', a form of words with which people would identify much as they do now in religious ceremonies? Was there space to develop 'community funeral societies' - co-operatives providing a complete funeral service?

Julia Barrand followed and whilst she may have been less controversial, she nonetheless provided much food for thought. Julia works for the RNIB and talked about supporting the blind and partially sighted who are bereaved. She brought it home to a lot of celebrants how much they really did need to be alert to the situations which even partial sight creates.

Day One ended with the AGM - and no great dramas.

At a Presentation Dinner on the Saturday evening, the Chairman presented several awards. Diana Gould (West Sussex) received a certificate in recognition of her specialist contribution to child and baby funerals, whilst Jane Grimes (Merseyside) received a similar certificate for the consistent quality of her family feedback. President Anne Barber then presented the inaugural 'Marilyn Watts Award'. This first award was made to Lynn Banham (East Anglia) for the standard of her presentations to families.

The next day's session began with Lynn sharing with the members what she called 'her little add-ons' which made a ceremony just a touch more personal, ranging from candles to memory boxes to just simple packets of seeds.

Two members of the IoCF Council heavily involved in the quality assurance side of the Institute, Janice Thomson and Jill Maguire, gave some very helpful advice on script preparation and presentation. They underlined the need for continual assessment and gave notice of some refinements to the system whereby celebrants are reported on annually by an independent crematorium manager or someone of similar standing. Both ladies emphasised that it was the quality of our service which was our benchmark.

The perils and pitfalls of planning a funeral in advance were the subject of a talk from Jo Donlevy. This led to much discussion from the floor, not least 'Who is the client?' Was it the person who planned the funeral or the next-of-kin who subsequently have to make all the arrangements?

Some celebrants find marketing themselves to funeral directors to be a difficult issue. Andrew Patey and Deni Darke between them emphasised that persistence, politeness and patience were the key elements. It was announced that there was a move to providing succinct leaflets aimed not at the public but at funeral directors and arrangers, making them fully aware of not only the type of work done by IoCF celebrants but again emphasising the many checks on the quality of their work.

The conference closed with a brief talk from Anne Barber on some technical issues and members dispersed back to their territories refreshed in mind and body!